And life was good, until iTunes decided that delete meant ‘delete entirely’ and killed my copy of Play.

Since then, I’ve made sure to copy mp3s I wish to transfer to my iPod out of my massive mp3 directory, into a special ‘holding’ area, where iTunes can’t do much damage. Oh, yes – I’m sure there are settings for ‘stop permanently deleting my music’, but my experience with iTunes (and OS X) is that when you tell a piece of Apple software to do something, it takes it as, “Please do this, however you see fit, Mr. Computer Who’s Smarter Than Me”. (Whereas Unix goes, “Do this.” “K.” and Windows is along the lines of, “Do this.” “…Yeah, you’re going to need a $200 license for that.” )

So, it’s years later and I’m adding two albums I just purchased cheaply to my iPod. Both came fully loaded; chock full of ID3 tags and album artwork. One album transferred to my iPod, artwork intact. The other did not. There’s no possible explanation for this, other than the fact that – as I’ve been saying for years, iTunes sucks.

I wish I could somehow use WinAmp (2.95, bitches!) to manage my iPod. But even that wouldn’t solve the nightmare of portable music.

At one point, I lost my original iPod. Figured I dropped it while getting in my car – whatever, it was gone. Someone was going to have a nice Christmas.

Rather, I had a nice Spring – months later, my original iPod was found outside my door, face down, and had been covered in a foot of snow for the better part of three months. It also functioned perfectly after recharging, and still carries a longer battery life than my newer nano.

If that isn’t infuriating enough, my old nano allows me to use the left and right arrows to scroll through coverflow. The new one does not. I’ve tried software updates. I’ve tried adjusting every setting imaginable. It just doesn’t work.

Do you know how annoying it is to attempt to drive and select music when you’re limited to the worst invention in the history of user interfaces? I swear, I’m going to make it my life’s work to seek out the Apple “engineer” who thought up the click-wheel and beat him soundly with a sturgeon.

To hell with trout slaps; this calls for a beatdown with the most sacred and holy, the Sizzling Sturgeon of Stalingrad.

…Anyway, it’s 2010. Where are all the decent mp3 players?

The better solution for this problem: Join the National Rifle Association.

My latest stuck disc issue was easily resolved by jamming my NRA membership card (which is of a lesser thickness than a credit card) into the drive, wedging it on top of the disc. Press and hold the eject button while applying some pressure downward on the edge of the disc. Slides right the hell out and doesn’t get retracted.

I mention I freaking love technology, man?